No more booze y’all

You know usually when people swear off drinking it’s after a bad night. They get real sick and say oh man I don’t ever want to drink again. For me this is not the case. In fact the other day I had the best drink I ever had. So good in fact I saw my self as becoming addicted to it and more versions of it. In my life I have special guy who is also no longer drinking. Thing is he did not drink much at all. So little in fact that it’s like what is the point? I’ve been marinating on this decision for days. Reflecting on my last few drinking experiences. It has been feeling unnatural. I’m not able to drink enough to get drunk. I don’t want to get drunk. I don’t feel particularly “better”. It’s just me throwing in some alcohol lol. It’s just me trying to boost up my tab at restaurants. It’s just me joining some toast. It’s just me drinking alone when something happened I can’t talk about. Now mind you I was not drinking a lot at all. If I bought bottles I always shared. So my intake was always less. My goal in recent times is not to get drunk. However it has felt more pointless than ever. Then I started to realize how important it is to be an example. Of sober living for everyone who is fighting this. It is a lifetime battle especially for those who have been overcome. You know the whole sure I will just have a glass a wine with dinner. Or pick a small bottle here and there for shots etc. all pointless and an incredible waste of money. If I’m being honest I actually no longer want to be seen drinking in public. That is not the life of “Flowerheadwoman”. She is all about living, creating, being in love, helping people. Drinking or anything else is just not apart of it. Even though it’s been happening on and off. However so many times stuff has not been great. I also have not felt great. Then I started getting messages from God about how many times He bailed me out of alcohol situations. About how many times He saved my life when I put myself in danger. Some of the stuff was years ago which makes it all the more stupid for me to try and come back. I must see all influences as my enemy. So the last delish perfect drink I had was the Bourbon root beer float. It was the best experience for me to close out on lol! This past Cinco De Mayo I made the most perfect margaritas ever lol. Then before that I started to love Hennessy for a couple months I had a few bottles of that. Love it lol. So much so I spent 30 bucks on glasses baring their name. Yep gave them away. Not to mention all of the times I had small drinks and shots with someone special. When I told him I no longer wanted to do it he said he fully supports my decision and wants to join me. Because he really doesn’t drink that much and he was doing it to impress me lol. Well the tables have turned. No one has ever followed my example on much except fashion styles lol! Seriously though if there is anyone out there who wants to cut down drinking or fully quit join me. For me I have not had a drink in 3 days. I’m marking each day on my calendar with a brain 🧠 emoji. That really fits lol! You know I listened to an episode of Red Table Talk with Kelly Osbourne and no one was more happy to be on that show than her. Yet what was so moving was she and Jada, her mother and Willow had similar issues with booze and other substances. I’m like nooooo. How can God give me more wisdom if I keep clouding my brain even temporarily? I am not trying to mask pain. I am not trying to relive tragedy. I am not trying to self medicate. I am not trying to stimulate myself. I am not trying to numb out. My only mission in life now is to thank God for all He has done and help as many as they will allow me and be where He sends me. That’s it. I want to Glorify the Lord. I will not let in house drama drive me to drink. I will not allow the feeling of powerlessness overcome me. I will proudly say “no thank you”. You know no matter how old you are there is peer pressure. Social pressure etc. So yeah this is me announcing my intended sober life. If anything changes you will be the first to know:)..

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